La Casa Bonita...

It was everything I couldn't have hoped for to remember and more!

... and that freaky wishing well guy that I spent so many hours of my childhood listening to talk is still functioning.

Hidden from the world.

I am living multiple lives right now.

Every other moment can attest to the fact that I am indeed more than one Courtney right now. I breathe the same air, am held up by the same skin and bones, but my soul is being positively selfish and allowing me to relish in the multi-faceted, quixotic, surreal, un-inhibited romantic life that I am currently wading in.

Interesting. Indeed.

"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."
-Woody Allen

Yesterday night. Tonight is much better.

Alone.

Complete solace?

or... Unforgiving silence?

The realization that this is now and forever despite the warmth that flows in and out of my soul, caressing it for fleeting moments but never finding the central peace that it searches for.

Please help me, universe, some direction? What do I do now?

Another One Passed

Impermanence - the property of not existing for indefinitely long durations

How is it that so much hope is harbored in the turn of a new year? Call me a pessimist, but I've never kept the resolutions that I've set for myself... and instead of encouraging me to make grand gestures and initiate significant positive changes in my life, resolutions set me up for disappointment and self-depreciation. It's primarily due to the fact that I over-idealize everything and I start with a realistic goal but consequentially get carried away by adding idea upon idea until my initial resolution has snowballed into a gigantic impossibility.

All at once.

One day... New York City and I will have a love affair.